I Want No Regrets: Tips For Parenting With Presence
Let’s be real for a minute. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely do not want to look back on these precious days-when my kids are still little, when their stories are long and their hugs are sticky-and feel like I missed it. I don’t want to remember rushing through every bedtime, shushing them through their “exciting” (sometimes not-so-exciting to me) stories, or skipping the chance to play because I was “too busy.” I want to soak it all in, even the chaos.
And yet… I’m with my kids ALL. THE. TIME. As a work-from-home, homeschooling mom, I get a front-row seat to everything-every giggle, every meltdown, every “Mom, look at this!” (for the 47th time). You’d think I’d have this presence thing down to an art, right? Ha! I wish. I’m just as guilty as anyone of scrolling my phone a little too much or letting school slide for weeks (unschooling perks, anyone?).
We Complain About the Things We Prayed For
Isn’t it wild? We once dreamed of these moments-sticky hands, noisy houses, the chance to be here-and now, sometimes, we find ourselves wishing for a little peace and quiet. It’s okay! Wanting a break doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. It just means you’re human. Parenting is the hardest job we’ll ever have… but it’s also the most rewarding. We all know that. You can crave your own space and still give your kids the time and attention they deserve. There’s room for both!
Sometimes, though, it’s hard to see that. So here I am, showing up with a giant mug of coffee (or your favorite hot drink), a big ol’ virtual hug, and a reminder: You are not alone. We can do this. We can be present-even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time.
Why Is Being Present So Hard?
Here’s the thing: if you struggle with being present, it’s not because you’re a bad mom or dad. It usually comes down to two things:
Presence wasn’t modeled for you growing up. Maybe your parents were always busy, distracted, or just didn’t know how to slow down and savor the moment. It’s hard to do what you’ve never seen.
Your nervous system feels under threat. When you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or running on empty, your brain is just trying to keep you safe. It’s not easy to be present when you’re in survival mode!
The Good News: You Can Rewire Your Brain
Okay, here’s where it gets fun (and a little bit science-y, but don’t worry, I’ll keep it simple): You can actually retrain your brain and your nervous system to be more present, more productive, and-yes!-to have more fun. There’s room for all of it. You can be the parent who listens, who laughs, who plays, and who sometimes hides in the bathroom for five minutes of peace (absolutely no judgment here).
So, how do I do it? Prayer, tapping, meditation, and Human Design are my go-to tools for rewiring my nervous system. (Confession: I used to get full-on mom rage at bedtime, but that’s a story for another post!) I teach these in my programs because they WORK, and science is finally catching up to what many of us have felt all along-they really are essential for rewiring the way we think, feel, and show up for our families.
Prayer
I’m talking about real, honest prayer-not just praying and pleading, but connecting, listening, and letting your heart be heard. Prayer can actually help calm impulsive reactions and bring peace to your mind. It’s like a reset button for your spirit.
Tapping (EFT)
This one might sound a little out there, but stick with me! Tapping (also known as Emotional Freedom Technique) involves gently tapping on specific points on your body while focusing on what’s stressing you out. It helps release all that mental “headtrash” and deactivates your emotional trigger buttons. Studies show it can actually lower cortisol (the stress hormone) and bring your nervous system back into balance. Plus, you can combine it with prayer or affirmations for an extra boost!
Meditation
Targeted meditations are like a spa day for your brain. When you meditate, your brain literally starts to rewire itself-strengthening the parts that help you focus, regulate emotions, and stay present. Even just a few minutes can make a difference, and the benefits go way beyond just feeling calm in the moment. Science shows meditation can lead to lasting changes in the brain, making it easier to be the parent (and human) you want to be.
Human Design
Human Design is like discovering your personal operating manual-it reveals how you’re uniquely wired to make decisions, connect with others, and move through the world (not just how you “should” do things!). When you understand your own design and your child’s, you can sidestep unnecessary power struggles and connect on a whole new level. It’s a game-changer for rewiring your brain because it helps you drop old patterns and expectations, and start honoring what actually works for you and your family. The result is more harmony, less stress, and way more fun as you parent-and live-from your authentic self. (Learn more about Human Design and how it can make a difference in your parenting-read more here!)
So, let’s make a pact: no regrets, just grace. We’ll give ourselves permission to mess up sometimes, and we’ll celebrate every little win-one bedtime giggle, one silly dance party, one “I see you and I hear you” moment at a time.
I truly believe that if we take these moments now, while our kids are still in our home, we’ll look back and KNOW we were there for them. We’ll miss them, but we won’t regret.
So pour yourself that coffee, take a deep breath, and make some messy, beautiful, unforgettable memories. Because these days are worth showing up for.
If you have questions, I'd love to chat! Book a call with me.
If you’re ready to trade regret for real connection and lasting change, I’d love to help. Check out how Cognitive Parenting can help you ditch the guilt, rewire your habits, and bring more peace and fun into your home!